Conversations with Kattie

Our friend Kattie frequently babysits Drew; the other night while we were out I got the following texts from her:

Drew: Can I have one of your chicken strips?
Me: Well, I only have two and this is my dinner.
Drew: Well, can I at least look at it?

Later...

Me: I don't know how to set up this game.
Drew: Here, I can show you how the master works.

Hearing Malfunction

I hold up a Lego guy and ask Mike "Who's this?"
Mike: "Doc Ock"
Drew: "Who's there?"

On Kale Soup

"Nice try with dinner, mom, but I didn't like it."

Reverse psychology

The other day, one of the neighbors little girls (I think she's 3) was hanging out in our garage playing with Drew's toys. Her dad (Brent) came over and was trying to convince her to go back home. She was having none of it. Finally, he tried telling her not to go home. That she shouldn't go home. Off she went.

As the 2 of them are wandering down the sidewalk, Drew yells "Clever Brent! Very clever!!"

His second language

Place: Couch
Time: Evening

Drew: Dad, my finger is bleeding.
Me: Do you want me to get you a band-aid?
Drew: (In a very dry, slightly condescending tone) No, I think I'll just bleed on the couch.

Job Prospects

On the way home from karate today, Drew informed me that when he grows up, he wants to be a karate teacher or a Jason truck driver (Jason truck = heavy machinery, in honor of his Uncle Jason).

More Musings On Parental Death

Driving home from Grandma and Papa's house, Drew wakes up from his nap, crying.
D: "I miss Grandma and Papa. I want to live next to them!"
B: "I know babe...but daddy's work is here, so this is where we live. You wouldn't want to live apart from daddy, would you?"
D: "Nooo....but if daddy dies, we can go live next to Grandma and Papa! That's a plan!"
B: "But we don't want daddy to die, do we? That would be sad."
D: "No, I don't want daddy to die, but sometimes in this life, things happen."
B: ".............."

Spelling

While I get ready for work in the morning, Drew usually comes in and talks.... a lot. The other morning:
He says (sounding out each letter) "D - A - D. That's Dad right?"
Me: "Yes. Yes it is. Very good buddy!"
D: "Yeah....How do you spell Doofenshmirtz?"

Itchy

Drew has been having trouble with itching.
"Mommy, why do I have bee hives on my back?"

Discussing the Hospital

"I didn't like the looks of that place."

On Facebook

Megan Talbot Neer: jake's new phase is standing up in his crib, but he can't figure out how to get back down. so he starts crying. mad. funny.

Beth Talbot Ramsay: I just read this out loud to Mike, and Drew's response was "Well, he got himself in there, he can get himself out!"

In the Hospital

We just spent a few days in the hospital, Drew had pneumonia, poor little boo. At first they told us we'd likely be there for just one night, but his condition didn't improve enough that first day, so we had to stay a second night. Drew was NOT happy about this development.
"I want to play with my beautiful friends! I want to go to my precious home and see my precious daddy!"
Broke my heart. Glad to be in our precious home, now.

Stinky

Drew is waiting for me to go take a shower so we can go to the Everett Children's Museum. He thinks I should go without showering, but since I didn't shower yesterday, I told him I really needed to shower because I'm stinky. His advice? Just don't go near anyone while we're at the museum, and take a shower when we get home.
I'm a mother, not a leper!

iPhone

Auntie Megan showed Drew the BalloonAnimal application on her iPhone, and he really liked it. Today, in the car, we were talking about why Mike and I don't have balloon animals on our phones (neither of us have succumbed to the iPhone). I think he grasped the concept, because he said, "Mom, when you die and a new mommy comes to live at our house, can you make sure she has an iPhone?"
Yeah, I'll get right on that.

Phone Number

Proving that repetition will eventually help you learn anything...Drew just walked up to me and recited my phone number, something I've never tried to teach him. I imagine he's heard me leaving messages enough that he picked it up on his own.

We've been playing a lot of Lego Star Wars...

Drew made reference to the "Battle Sphere" -- it took us a minute to realize he was talking about the Death Star.

Chuck

After seeing a Chuck E Cheese commercial

D: "I've been to Chuck E Cheese"
B: "Really?"
D: "Yeah. You remember that day when you told us to get out of the house so you could clean it?"
B: "Yes"
D: "And we bought you flowers that you didn't like and you let die?"
B:"Yes
D:"Yeah, that was the day we went to Chuck E Cheese"

From the Backseat

Driving home from preschool:
"Mom, look!"
I turn and see him making the face from "Home Alone"
"It's my O-Face!"

Show and Tell

Earlier this year, we went to Drew's new preschool for a meet and greet before school started. On our way to the car, he was lamenting the lack of Transformers toys in his new classroom.
B: "Maybe you can bring one of your Transformers for show and tell?"
D: *thinks*
D: "Actually, I think I want to bring my penis for show and tell."
B: *dies*

Wounded

In a rush to answer the phone, I banged my knee really good on the coffee table. A few minutes after I hang up, I finally decide to see how bad it is. An inch long gash.

D: "Can I see?"
M: "Sure"
D: "Ooh. Can I touch it?
M: "Uhh. No"
D: " Please? It will only hurt a little bit"
M: "No. It already hurts a little bit"
D: "Oh....... Can I touch it?"