Chuck

After seeing a Chuck E Cheese commercial

D: "I've been to Chuck E Cheese"
B: "Really?"
D: "Yeah. You remember that day when you told us to get out of the house so you could clean it?"
B: "Yes"
D: "And we bought you flowers that you didn't like and you let die?"
B:"Yes
D:"Yeah, that was the day we went to Chuck E Cheese"

From the Backseat

Driving home from preschool:
"Mom, look!"
I turn and see him making the face from "Home Alone"
"It's my O-Face!"

Show and Tell

Earlier this year, we went to Drew's new preschool for a meet and greet before school started. On our way to the car, he was lamenting the lack of Transformers toys in his new classroom.
B: "Maybe you can bring one of your Transformers for show and tell?"
D: *thinks*
D: "Actually, I think I want to bring my penis for show and tell."
B: *dies*

Wounded

In a rush to answer the phone, I banged my knee really good on the coffee table. A few minutes after I hang up, I finally decide to see how bad it is. An inch long gash.

D: "Can I see?"
M: "Sure"
D: "Ooh. Can I touch it?
M: "Uhh. No"
D: " Please? It will only hurt a little bit"
M: "No. It already hurts a little bit"
D: "Oh....... Can I touch it?"

Lincoln logs

Location: Drew's Bed
Time: Bedtime
Story: After his bedtime story, he proceeded to tell me about the lincoln log house he had built. D: "So Dad, I didn't put any doors in the house."
Me: "No big deal son. Your next house can have a door"
D: "But I did put in windows"
M: "Uh-huh"
D: "The people , who are made out of lincoln logs, yeah, they can climb in thru the windows"
M: "That sounds like a good idea"
D: "Yeah, and then they can sit on their furniture, which is also made out of lincoln logs"
M: "Well, of course they can"
D: "And then they can go to their refigerator, which is made out of lincoln logs, and get some food, which is made out of lincoln logs"
M: "Well, if they are hungry, sure, why not"
D: "Dad?"
M: "Yes Drew?"
D: "Can you leave now?"
M: "Sure. Good night"

On the Couch, Saturday Morning

Apropos of nothing whatsoever:
In a despondent voice, "Daddy, I worry about you."

In the Grocery Store

Drew has been attending hockey games with us for a year or so, now. One of the fun things they do at every game is a "watch the hockey puck" shell game broadcast on the pseudo-Jumbotron. We were in the grocery store, selecting yogurt, and Drew was arranging them in the cart; in fact, he was shuffling them like a shyster on a New York City streetcorner.
"Keep your eyes on the yogurt, people. Keep your eyes on the yogurt."

On the Way to Preschool

Drew is in the backseat, narrating a scene between Bumblebee and Hightower, two of his Transformers.
"Ha ha ha! I've got you in my clutches, Bumblebee!"
A ruckus ensues.
"I escaped, Hightower! Your clutches are broken!"