Too Realistic

On receiving the Disneyland Adventures game for Kinect, Drew asked,
"Do I have to wait in lines and stuff?"

Wayback Edition

When Drew was just a toddler, I once steam cleaned the carpets, leaving behind clumps of hair (we have two cats, fur everywhere!). I asked Drew to help out by picking them up, and gave him a baby wipe to pick them up with. I checked on him a couple minutes later, and he was going from clump to clump, picking them up and muttering "JesusChrist" each time. That's when I realized what I look and sound like every time I clean up a pile of cat vomit. Little mimic.

Empire Builder

Drew, noticing Mike playing a new video game on his laptop, asks what the object of the game is.
M: Building an empire.
D: Evil?

On the Record

Mom, on the record, I love you very much.
:)

Again, Without Words

I came downstairs this morning, and asked Drew if Abby, our dog, had gone outside yet.
"Yes."
"Did she go potty?"
"I sniffed her vagina and I think so. I'm an expert vagina-sniffer."
"...."

Faith of a Child

In the car today, Drew and I discussed Christianity.
B: A Christian is someone who believes in God and loves Jesus.
D: Am I a Christian?
B: What do you think?
D: Well, I do believe in God, and Jesus. And I would never pull the beard off a Santa Claus like that mean girl in Rugrats. I believe in him, too.

Secret Ingredient

Last night we were enjoying some hot chocolate (oh, summer, how you've failed us!), and I asked Drew how it tasted.
"It's delicious, because it's made with love!"
Indeed.

I'm ready for my breakfast, now!

Drew and I got off to a rocky start this morning; he sequestered himself in his room and I've been enjoying a quiet morning downstairs. However, at regular intervals, he is yelling down the stairs, "Mommy! When you are ready to make my breakfast you can bring it up to me. Anytime now!"
Keep dreaming, kid.

Multi-Lingual

Drew just told me that Scooby Doo calls Shaggy, "Raggy" because he speaks in a different language, just like Grady. "You know, like he says 'Hi Dwoo!'"
(Grady is a four-year old neighbor boy)

Rapture

From the backseat: "Guitars?? I thought he only ate cars??"

Baginas

Mom, girls have cooties.
Mom, what are cooties?
Well, if you don't know what cooties are, maybe you shouldn't talk about them?
*silence*
Mom, are cooties baginas?

Capable

I was telling Drew we should take advantage of the nice day to finally spread the horse manure compost I picked up a few weeks back.
"Mom, you are fully capable of spreading the horse poop around by yourself."
It's good to be capable. Fully.

Whiner

Drew's front two teeth have loose for a while now. In the last few days the right one has gotten very loose. While on a bus-ferry outing with Beth yesterday, she convinced him to twist it around, thinking that it would just pop out, it didn't. What it did do is hurt and piss him off. So much so that he refused to sit with her on the bus. When he got home he fell asleep on the couch. Beth suggested we wake him up and make him go to bed. I told her we should wait for him to get into deeper sleep and then yank the tooth. After a while, I scrubbed up, grabbed a tissue and went in after it. It either hurt more than we thought or he wasn't as asleep as we thought. He immediately started thrashing around and whining. We were commited to removing the tooth. Finally, I held him down and Beth reached in and pulled it.

For the next 15 minutes, he layed on her lap whining and crying....in his sleep. We felt really bad and were worried that he would be even more mad at us when he woke up.

Holding the tooth in my open hand, I say to him, "Hey Drew look what I have!"

He wakes right up, stops whining and responds with, "What is that? Is that my tooth?" Looks at his reflection in the window. "Well, what do you know?" Climbs off Beth's lap and heads off to the restroom like nothing happened.

Tell Me Where It Hurts

Drew complained that he had an owie, "between my hips and my upper part." I said, "So your tummy hurts?" Yep.